Close encounters of a PUG kind

I had an early morning meeting the other day. To be honest with you I was not looking forward to it. Somehow I had managed to arrive an hour early for the meeting and had to sit in a coffee shop looking lonely and depressed. It was one of those miserable days when there is rain in the air but not quite enough to allow you the use of an umbrella but enough to create a mullet/mohican crossbreed of a hairstyle.

Finally I went to the meeting. We were greeted at the door with a quick 'hello' followed by a 'I hope you don't mind dogs'. Immediately I had visions of a great dane running towards me like a long lost child only to discover that I am not its mother, but still, it will like to stick its nose right into my crotch. I therefore braced myself - but I had nothing to fear. There was no sign of this beast. Then, suddenly out of nowhere - a little black bundle of fur started running my way. Everything seemed to go into slow motion. We stood in a room no bigger than 10 ft across but this little black ball took a good 20 seconds to reach me. It took about half this time for my brain to get into sync and realise what was coming directly towards me. Then the three letter word left my mouth and everyone in the office abruptly looked at me - PUG!

It was beautiful - I say 'it', pugs seem to be genderless to me. They are neither 'he' nor 'she' they are just pug. This pug was a black one. I must admit to you all that before I met this pug I had a racist tendancy to fall down on the side of a tan pug. I always felt that you see more of the pugly features on a tan. That might be true, but black pugs are amazing. They are a bundle of fur with two black snooker balls dangerously poking out. I was in love. It was strange - I immediately scanned the room for exit points and congratulated myself on choosing a bag that day that was big enough to fit a pug in but not too big to hit people on the bus with. I had a decision to make. Run with the pug, start a new life - as far away from here where no-one would recognise me, or turn my back on it. The pug's dark fur was like a black hole attracting my love and desire - I needed that pug. Then I realised -'what sort of life can I give it?'. We would be on the run, not knowing where the next meal was coming from. I could not put it through that - slowly my back turned. I hope I made the right decision.

Three reasons why I do not own a PUG.

I love pugs. When a pug crosses my path I can not keep my eyes of it. The perfect little body, the face that looks like it is permanently pressed against the patio doors. I can not get enough of them. My company is even based on them (pugmugs.co.uk). However, when people ask me if I have one, I always (and will always) answer no. 'But why?' they ask, and here is the answer.

1. Hold on - don't let go.

The first reason for my lack of a pug companion is a fear of harming it. I look at a pug and am often overcome with a desire to hug it and keep hugging. My fear is that I will not be able to stop hugging. Normally this will not be a problem. However, pugs are well known for having breathing issues. I believe it stems from their puppy hood. My brother told me that when a pug is born they look like most other dogs. But at some time between their birth and being 6 weeks old, the dog puppies have a severe accident. Some run into closed patio doors, others have car doors opened in their faces whilst some simply try and kiss their own reflections in the mirror and take too much of a run up to do this. Whatever the accident, the result is always the same - the little flat face of a pug. This flat face, although adorable, gives most pugs a breathing issue. It is this breathing issue which stops me from from hugging them. I am scared that I might hug the life out of my pug.

2. 'You have your mother's nose'.

I was once chatting to two dear friends about my love for pugs. The conversation was heading towards a natural conclusion when one of my friends (you know who you are) said, 'talking of pets that look like their owners'. The room went cold, I looked at him in horror, he attempted to take it back but we all knew that on some level he thought that something in me resembled a pug. I love pugs - I think they are beautiful but in a 'they are so ugly they are beautiful' kind of way. I do not want people to say 'you remember Vee, the one who looks ever so slightly like a pug'. My conclusion from this episode is that if I keep as far away from pugs as possible then no one will make that connection between myself and them. That is the second reason why I am pugless.

3. Money.

Have you seen the cost of a pug puppy? They are more expensive than me (and I am not cheap)!

There you go. I have said it. It is now on record as to why I do not own a pug. Enough on the matter.

Vee